Thursday, November 24, 2016

Give Thanks

My heart is full after a day of family and good things, and it is easy to feel grateful.

But let's be honest, my heart does not always feel so full.
Sometimes when I struggle to feel happy, this tiny part of a song plays in my head:

"A thankful heart is a happy heart."

I heard it on Veggie Tales a few times.  Very simple.  Childlike simplicity.  Still, I oftentimes forget the truth it proclaims, and I see many adults forgetting as well.  Being thankful produces joy in us.

I always love Thanksgiving as a holiday, and it reminds me that I am called to give thanks every day.  God's Word actually tells us: "Give thanks" like a direction or command.  And although it might produce joy in me, the reason we give thanks is not primarily for our benefit but because God is God.  He is good.  He is love.  He is the giver of all good things.

Giving thanks takes the focus off of us and fixes our eyes on Jesus.  When we forget ourselves and look to him, we know his joy.

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good.  His love endures forever."
Psalm 118:1



Happy Thanksgiving.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

I Will Give You Rest

I watched my friend stand outside the closed door.  She leaned the side of her head toward the door, listening.  I could hear the muffled crying of her two-year-old daughter on the other side.

"I know you want to play, but now it is time to rest.  Close your eyes and rest your body.  You can play later."

As my friend walked back calmly to the kitchen table, I was taking mental notes.  I am always surrounded by moms, and I am always taking notes.

Less than ten minutes passed when the crying stopped.  My friend opened the door to see a sleeping girl lying in her bed, limbs flung out, bangs plastered to her forehead.  She had fought the nap, and the nap won.

I oftentimes shake my head and laugh at little kids who fight so hard against the one thing they need at the moment- REST.  I also sigh and think about how much I love to sleep.  I usually can't wait to sleep.  And if life allows for a nap, you can bet that I'm taking one.

But I'm not good at resting, REALLY resting.  For most of my life I have prided myself in what I do, accomplish, join, volunteer, work at, and participate in.  I fill up my schedule constantly.  Every bit of time.  I overcommit and underestimate how long everything takes.

In the past three years, God has been teaching me about rest.  He has revealed my idolatry of work and activity.  In 2013, I had reached such a point of exhaustion that I used to think sometimes, maybe I will fall asleep tonight and never wake up.  When God started working in me, he started with something as old as creation itself, resting on the seventh day, the Sabbath.

I share this all with you because I believe many of us are missing out.  God commands us to rest--- for his glory, but also for our good, for our joy, and for the work we do.  We often do not like the word obedience, but we are called to be obedient because God is a good father and he knows what we need.  My friend knew her daughter needed a nap even though the two-year-old insisted otherwise.  Oftentimes, we are the same, fighting against what we need, what will bring us joy.

I do not think God's command to rest looks the same in your life as it does in mine, but I think we are meant to take it to heart.


In the fall of 2013, I knew God was calling me to stop working on Sundays.  I knew that I had spent my entire life ignoring God's command to keep the sabbath holy, or set apart for God.  It had been a blind spot, and God was finally calling it out at the most inconvenient time.  I was in my last year of graduate school, while working at a boarding school.  My actual work hours ranged from 50-80 hours per week plus additional hours for planning lessons and hours of schoolwork to finish my degree.  Not doing any work on Sunday seemed IMPOSSIBLE to me.  I already felt like I was barely keeping myself from drowning.  How could I cut out an entire day?

When it comes to obeying God, it isn't up to us to work out the future.  We are called to be faithful to what he asks of us even if it seems impossible.  So I made the decision to rest on the sabbath no matter what.  In the busiest year of my life, God called me to trust him.  He could have chosen any year, but he chose the year that would require the most faith and in the end would cause me to say, "Only God could have made it all possible."

Some weeks I felt like a two year old fighting at nap time, but each Sunday I praised God that he had given me exactly what I needed.  I began to look forward to Sunday as the treasure of my week.  One of the greatest lessons I learned is that when we commit an area of our lives to the Lord, he makes it possible.  In the past few years, I have been learning to be a better listener.  A listener to others and a listener for God's voice.  I stopped making to-do lists in my head while spending time with family and friends.  I learned to be better at self-discipline, self-control, productivity.  I've taken many more walks on the shore and in the forest.  God has deepened my understanding of prayer, of worship, of purpose.  And the work always got done in six days.  I did not drown after all.

I've also learned that at the beginning of such an endeavor, there will always be reasons not to follow through.  It's easy to say, "not this week."  But a pastor once spoke about making the pre-decision to be faithful to God's commandments.  Pre-decide that Sunday belongs to God and belongs to rest, and pray for the ability to follow through.

In case it is not clear, I share this not to any way say that we are saved by what we do for the Jesus.  We are not saved by our obedience to the "rules."  It does not add gold stars to our name in heaven.  We are saved and made worthy because Jesus died for us.  This is about finding a treasure, and hoping others find it too.  Like I said earlier, God gives us commands because he loves us and he desires what is good for us.  Honoring the Sabbath is a gift for us, a gift that has altered my life.  Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28). He offers you rest.  Go to him.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Politics... And Jesus Of Course

I wanted to write about anything but politics but cannot seem to leave such a gaping hole.

I'll try to be brief.  (Like that has ever happened...)

I am often amazed at just how many intelligent and kind people are in my life.  It is overwhelming.  Sometimes I think the second best thing about my wedding (or my funeral) someday will be getting all those people in the same room.

These same people are EVERYWHERE on the political spectrum, and one of the greatest gifts of my life is having the opportunity to listen to people, really listen to people.  If we only surround ourselves with people who think like us, we lose the opportunity to grow, to challenge our assumptions, to deepen our understanding.  I do not agree with all of the opinions and choices they made in regards to the election, but I can at least see how an intelligent and kind person could vote the way they did.  I can understand why a follower of Jesus could vote the way they did in their best attempt to honor God.

So I dare myself and each person reading this to do more listening this week than talking.

...
But I want to offer some caution to my Christian friends and family because of what I keep seeing and hearing.  Sometimes in an attempt to rationalize our vote for Trump or Clinton, we tend to minimize or ignore or refuse to believe what a person has done, said, and lied about.  In our personal lives we know that what a person does and says without remorse is a window to their character and who and what they care about.  Christians- Trump is not your man.  And Clinton is not your woman.  Most of us would agree to that, but in an attempt to defend yourself or speak against a candidate, do not make the other into a saint or a champion for what we stand for.  That is foolishness, and it communicates to the world that the message of the Church is opposite to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Neither person stands for us.  Why does this matter?  Because the world looks at the Christian to see if we indeed follow Christ.

I mourned this week with those who mourn, but I would have mourned regardless of the outcome.  I have been mourning since the start of this year.  America, we were once masquerading as a Christian nation, but the mask has come off.  We have reaped what we have sown, and this year has shown how ugly things are.  So much uglier than I had ever thought and so much deeper than a mere presidential election.  But I thank God still for my home and pray that we will repent as a people and seek God and unity.  Though human efforts, human governments, princes and presidents will fail us, God is the everlasting God and he will never fail us.

God bless America, please.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

49=49

49=49
This is a post about value.
This is a post about human life.

A friend of mine just lost her newborn baby.
Another friend is spending his days with his mom in hospice.
All of a sudden life seems fragile and death is real.

And death, and the void, the hole, that it leaves behind, stands as a heartbreaking reminder of the value of a life.  That behind the numbers are humans, heartbeats, people.

I claim to be pro-life.
That term has been so hijacked by the political world so I want you to hear what I'm actually saying before you assume what I stand for.  I say that I claim to be because sometimes I feel like I fall so hopelessly short.
Pro-life is... Knowing that each life has value from the moment of conception until natural death.
The value of a life is not for me to give, not for you to give, and not for the law to give, but has been given by the Creator.  He created us in his own image and likeness- each life.

But as I watch the news or hear a story, I know in my heart that I do not value each life as God does because sometimes it is just a number to me.

Dear Orlando,
49 lives = 49 lives
Let me not just see a number.
I'm sorry this has taken months to write this down.
My friend hung up the photo on the fridge of the 49 men and women murdered at Pulse for 2 months, and every week I was reminded that behind the number are 49 faces.  49 lives with 49 families, 49 sets of hopes, 49 sets of heartache too.  49 people created by God.  49 people prayed for and mourned for.


Still with all I know and believe, I struggle to value each human life.   I know that sounds awful but I'm just being honest.  With all of the death and suffering that litters our news, I notice that I struggle against my tendency to assign arbitrary and unequal value to life.  I find myself valuing lives of people who are most like me.  I hate even admitting to myself that my heart is that ugly.  Do I not mourn  over  the death of an American more than the nameless refugee?

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."           Matthew 10:29-31

And so I declare value, that 49=49, even as I struggle, and ask God to help me see each person as a person, with equal value and dignity.  Jesus, help me stand for life.  Teach me to mourn, to serve, to love, to build.

49 mothers killed by cancer
= 49 people shot in a gay nightclub in Orlando

=49 unborn babies aborted in the next half hour
= 49 babies who die as their mothers hold them

= 49 Syrian men and women beheaded brutally
= 49 young men and women killed by drug overdose

= 49 people dying of AIDS in Botswana
= 49 people dying of heart disease in Massachusetts

= 49 names of soldiers killed in war
= 49 people whose nameless bodies are in a mass grave

=49 pregnant women in crisis without support
= 49 people after a hurricane without a home

= 49 adults with autism in a group home
= 49 doctors and lawyers and researchers

= 49 black people killed by police
= 49 police officers

= 49 orphans sleeping on a concrete floor tonight
= 49 of my own family

Lord I know you see the value.  You see 49.
Whether or not we are wanted by others, whether or not we are accepted in the churches, whether or not anyone will miss us or remember us when we die, whether or not we have a voice.
You value each life,
And may you open my eyes and heart to do the same.

49=49