Prayer Part I: What We Fear Most

A couple weeks ago, I was surrounded by people singing about Jesus, and I heard in my heart a voice whisper, "your prayers are too small."  It called to me like a beckoning, a wink, an invitation into a world I rarely venture.  In light of who God is, who He says He is, and who I say I believe He is, my prayers are too small.

I actually don't think my prayers could ever be too big for God.  So why don't I pray as if I believe that?

I'm afraid.

Although in the past five years God is driving out all fear, I'm often afraid to pray big and dream big with God.  I'm afraid to pray for complete healing and I instead settle for prayers of disease management.  I'm afraid to pray for complete transformation of the hearts of the people around me, of toxic situations I witness, of the evil that I see in the headlines, and instead I pray using nondescript and comforting words.  I pray for better but not for best.  I pray for improvement but not for total redemption.  I tack on "if it is your will" to prayers not just because I desire God's will be done but as a little insurance statement.  Sometimes I pray like I don't expect God will act.

Why am I afraid?

Because what if I begin  praying prayers big enough that if God were to answer them, no one could deny it was anything or anyone but God?  What if we asked for the kingdom to come?  What if we asked for his miracles?  What if we asked for our world to be transformed?  What if instead of asking for help walking in the sand, we asked to walk on water?

But what if I ask in great faith for God to do the impossible, and he doesn't?  What then?  Would my faith be shaken?  Would the faith of those around me crumble?  And so I shrink in fear and pray safe prayers and settle for management instead of begging for healing.  But he WANTS us to ask and INVITES us to ask and whispers to our hearts: "your prayers are too small."

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work win us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21