Auntie

When I was almost 12, my Auntie Liz became a mom.  My cousin Jen was born, and one of my favorite people began the journey as a mother after almost 20 years of being an auntie first.

My mother is the youngest of 6 girls, so let's just say I have a lot of aunties.  And in my world, it also means that I have had the privilege to grow up around strong, beautiful, courageous, and loving women my entire life.  But I only REMEMBER one auntie being an auntie and not yet a mom, and there is something special about having an auntie like that.

Now that I am an auntie who hopes God will allow me to be a mother someday, I feel like I understand it all a little more.  Being an auntie is something that brings me far more joy than it ever does heartache. I think back to all my memories of my Auntie Liz visiting us.  I remember once, one of my cousins confiding in me, telling me that Auntie Liz was her favorite auntie.  "You can't have a favorite," I told her, but I understood that aunties who were not moms yet always had free hands to hold and adventures to share and presents to give.  And even if I didn't have a favorite, it was still something special.

I remember as a teenager telling a friend that I think it is better to become an auntie before becoming a mom,  I remember trying to express how special I thought it was.   "That won't be me though.  I will probably be the first to have kids."  I am pretty sure that in the moment I said that, I was recalling the mental picture of my brother Mike sitting and farting on my other siblings.  I reflected silently that Mike was probably too immature to get married and have kids for a long long LONG time.  But teenage brothers do grow up, and God often surprises us.

So this is my ode to being an auntie first.  A gift I wished for and never thought I would get.  I learn new things everyday.  I admire my brother and my sister who have gone before into the world of parenting, and watch as they grow into the brave, strong, and beautiful father and mother they were created to be.  And perhaps my favorite part of being an auntie is knowing the newest and smallest people in my life, who remind me not to take myself too seriously, to stop to pick up an acorn long enough to marvel at it, that I'm not too old to make a snow angel in the first inch of snow, and that the world is full of small miracles if I only take some time to look.